As the seasons transition from one to another, the Becker family finds itself at the brink of a transition too. Hormel, the company which my husband works for, has several plants and owns companies in locations away from Austin. We've always been aware that there may be opportunities within the company that would take us from this town we love so much.
A few weeks ago, one of these opportunities came up. Josh and I spent a weekend discussing the prospect and whether at this point we'd be willing to relocate. After a lot of thought and conversation, we decided we could be. And he applied for the job.
He interviewed and we waited a week. And then last Wednesday he was told the news that he got the job! He'll be the Plant Purchasing Manager for Fontini Italian Meats, a company Hormel owns, in the Chicago area. He has an effective date of October 15th. Chicago here we come!
So obviously this is huge for us, in so many ways. First, we are so thankful. We know that this promotion is a blessing and we are so grateful for it! It's wonderful to see Josh be acknowledged and rewarded for his smart and hard work. Hormel is a great company that has been so good to us, and we are happy and excited to continue on our journey within the company.
As we've been sharing the news to our family and friends, I find myself sharing and explaining some of the same aspects of this move, so I've really been able to iron out our reasoning, our hopes, and also our torn-ness about leaving Austin....
First, I want to make sure everyone knows that Warrior Wagons will for sure continue on! We view this organization as the community's--the supporter's--organization, that we just have the honor to run. Warrior Wagons belongs to those who contribute and support it in all the ways, and that will not change. Warrior Wagons will continue to serve those brave little ones and their families receiving care at Mayo Clinic. With the frame work already set, modern technology, and volunteers from within our community, Warrior Wagons will continue to thrive in South East Minnesota.
We hope this move will only help it to grow even more. I've been talking about how we have been working to expand the program, but we keep hitting snags. Struggling to get an audience with other hospitals and then issues with remote distribution, have been holding us back. As this relocation opportunity came up for Josh and I took time to really think and pray about it--I can see God's timing working out again, as usual. This must be why we haven't been able to spread Warrior Wagons in Minnesota so far, and it solves the issue of long distance distribution--maybe WE are the ones to bring Warrior Wagons to another location! Mayo is all set, we now have the chance to establish it hopefully somewhere in Chicago--Lord knows there are brave Warriors and their families there that need a Warrior Wagon!
So, how are we feeling? Josh is grateful for the promotion, ready for a new challenge, and as excited as he shows ;) for the adventure Chicago will be. I am so happy for him, and know that taking this job is the right decision for him. It is my privilege and job to support him wherever he leads us in life.
And Molly? How is she reacting to the idea of leaving her only home? Turns out, she's pumped. Here's her excitement shortly after we told her Dad got the job:
She's so excited for a new town that she can "go to museums and aquariums and zoos!" (does she have a Chicago travel guide under her bed or something??). In her new house she wants "bunk beds, her own bathroom, a pool, and a pantry that has a door" Not sure all of that will be granted, but it's fun to see her dreaming, and the pantry with a door sounds awesome to me. 😉
She stopped and said last week, "But...I'll miss my friends" in one conversation we were having about all the things there are to do in Chicago. I swallowed hard and admitted, "I know, I will too..." and in the next moment she came back with, "But they'll still be our friends, we'll just make new ones too!" Great attitude Mols, our friends don't go away, we'll just add new ones! Molly has always been just what I need since the day she was born, and I can see that she'll help me more than she knows during this move. It helps so much that she is excited and happy about this all. Once again, if a little one of mine can be happy in the face of something big, I should be able to be too!
But, it's hard. Not surprisingly, I have mixed emotions. With all this said about being grateful and excited and hopeful, I would be lying if I said I wasn't also sad about leaving Austin. Can I be okay in Chicago? Yes. I can be. With all that is pointing us in this direction, gosh, I guess I can't stand in it's way. But obviously we have SO much history and memories in this house, in this town, it will be so very hard to leave. But you know what? I can do hard things with God's strength. I have proven that to myself. If I've learned anything in the last three years, if I've grown at all through all I have been through, I know I can handle an out of state move. It won't be easy, but with faith, it'll be possible.
My head knows all of that. But my heart? My heart can't stand the thought of not being in this house I shared with my son, the only home he ever had. Its hard enough for people to leave the home they brought their babies to from the hospital, how can I leave the home I also took my son to the hospital from, and then he never come home?? My head his to remind my heart (that is gearing up to throw a big fit) that, as much as we hate it, Drew's not here. He's not in that bedroom I start every morning in, standing up in his crib...
He's not in my bathtub splashing with his sister, or hiding from me under the sink...
He's not out on our deck, or walking down our sidewalk. He's not laughing and swinging at the park that I drive by nearly every day and imagine him there...
He isn't in that aisle of Aldi where he got sick all over the cart one day when he was fresh from chemo but we needed groceries. He's not at the library climbing through the shelves driving me crazy or in the nursery at our church, charming the volunteers.
This house and this town hold so many memories at every turn. And I've been comforted by that so far, but maybe a change won't be a bad thing. Maybe it'll be nice for a while to not see the past intrude on the present so often. To not have everyone know all about us and what happened. Yes, I think for our whole family a fresh start, a break from the stark shadow of this loss, may be good for a while. And my memories will go with me. We carry them in our hearts, just like Drew. They aren't tied to any one house or town. Drew will be with us on this adventure, and I know he'll be excited to watch us explore!
Which doesn't mean I want it, but that I recognize God knows best and trumps what I think I want. Because if I'm honest, I feel like I could stay here forever! I love our house, my friends, our church, the Y, our community! I don't need anything bigger, nicer, "better", than Austin. But I can learn to love somewhere else too, I guess. So I may not feel completely awesome in every way about leaving, but I've learned that just because something doesn't feel good, doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.
And when I take that even further--isn't that what this life is as a whole anyway? No place is really our home, we all are just passing through--tourists as one saying goes--in this life before we pass on to a place that will feel like home in every way. We have that Hope that is never changing, no matter what our address is. The Hope of a place where there will be no more goodbyes, no more hard things we have to do, but where we can rest and rejoice in the comfort of finally being Home after all. And I already have someone there to waiting me 😊
I'm so grateful to have this outlet where I work out my feelings, solidify my thoughts. Taking the time to write this has helped me put into words some of my feelings, as always! And this space is another thing that won't change when we become residents of Illinois...
