The Light

The power went out recently in our neighborhood.  We had just finished supper, I was beginning to clean up the kitchen and as I opened the fridge, everything went out.  It tried to come on a couple times, but to no success.  Josh, Molly, and I just kind of waited around for a moment, figuring it would come right back on.

But it didn't.  The longer we waited around, we realized it wasn't coming back on right away. Outside, we noticed first one backyard neighbor come out on his deck and look around, and then another.  Josh went out and confirmed that they were without power too. I texted my friends across the street and they had power, so it must have been just our side of the block.

I continued to clean up the kitchen while Josh and Molly were outside.  My sink filled with soapy water, I went to work and watched out the window as more and more families came outside.  It was a beautiful night--maybe a bit chilly, but still a warm springy night--it's kind of funny no one was out before!  Some houses I didn't even know had kids, but apparently do, because I counted 3 out in the yard playing with their dog.

Without wifi and power, it was amazing how quickly the backyards seemed to be hopping with families playing games, and kids swinging on swing sets.  Funny how that is, right?  Now, this isn't a post about limiting screen time, or the evils of technology, don't worry.  I was convicted here since Molly would have been inside on her tablet too if it wasn't for the outage. It was a good reality check--are we too glued to our devices to enjoy a nice evening together?

Anyway, it remained off as it started to get dark.  As the sun gradually set, the darkness seemed to creep in and slowly fill in the light.  We all began to think of what we should do before it got really dark if the power stayed off.  We told Molly to go brush her teeth and I decided to shower too before it got dark.

As I was in the shower, I thought about how we were trying to beat the darkness.  Our bathroom window is the only West facing window in our whole house, so that room was the brightest with the last rays of sunshine. We take for granted the sunlight, it doesn't even matter if its light outside or not with electricity. #firstworldlife I guess...

I came back downstairs and I was amazed how dark it had gotten in the time I was gone. When the darkness creeps in gradually, you don't realize how dark it has become. But when you miss 20 minutes of the transition it seems so much darker.

So next we searched for our flashlights and batteries while we could still find them (the Becker house needs to be better prepared!). As we were messing with flashlights and stealing batteries from working devices, I remembered candles. Duh! I lit a big 3 wick one a friend had sent me for my birthday. And there it was--light! Amazing how this candle just lit up the room, driving out the darkness.

I thought how interesting it is that if it was already bright, the candle's glow would hardly even be noticeable. But in the darkness, it illuminated the room. 

The power came back on not too long after that. It was out about an hour and a half--right through dusk and into night. Each house lit up behind us at the same instant, and life was back to "normal". I was almost a little disappointed. It was kind of exciting to be unplugged, off the grid!




Easter is almost here. One of my favorites. (Who am I kidding? I love all holidays.) Maybe it's because spring finally breaks around Easter that makes it so exciting, aside from the obvious importance in our faith. The grass turns green and trees start to bud, it's just such a refreshing time, full of energy and new life.

We have so many great memories from Easter weekend, and treasure the three years we were lucky enough to have with Drew.

Drew took his first steps on Easter Sunday, I remember it was my birthday, April 5th, 2015. I just love the tie he wore that year, and the expressions in this photo 😆

And while I always have understood it's spiritual significance, I feel like in the last three years I've really come to embrace it's profound meaning with my whole heart. The suffering, the sacrifice, the loss....and then the glorious morning when Christ arose from the dead, giving all who believe Life along with Him. Salvation and Hope arose that morning, and I celebrate that victory over death now in such a deep, sensitive place in my spirit and soul. Praise God!

Thinking about that candle the other night has really reminded me of the great truth about himself Jesus shared: "I am the light of the world" (John 8:12). It is a concept that is brought up throughout the Bible, Jesus being the light that drives out the darkness. I know this isn't the first piece written about the picture of Jesus as the candle in a dark room, but its such a great visual and one that is now fresh in my mind after the power outage.  I've been singing the children's song, "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine..." all week 😊 

But really, once we lit that candle, the room came to life again. Existed again from out of the darkness. We could now do things once more, with it's light. We could function--but only with the glow the candle gave off. We were totally at the mercy of output of the flame.

I thought about how we didn't even realize how dark it was getting, until we couldn't see. In life, how slowly and gradually the Light dims too if we don't tend to it.  We don't even notice until a crisis happens, our world is shaken, and we realize how lost we are. Suddenly we become aware of how far away we've gotten from the Light.

We all are guilty--we get distracted, careless. We take for granted the Light that allows us to function, and don't appreciate it until it's seemingly gone. But that's just it, it's never gone! The Light that is Jesus is there for anyone to have, and can be used by all to see. He brings back to life the things the darkness of this world hides from us--like joy, hope and peace. I know He does for me, every day.

And there's more good news! We can have this Light with us wherever we go! We just have to ask for it. To accept it, and it's ours. Never to be in the dark again. "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path". (Psalm 119:105). We can even share it with others, so they too can have the Light with them. And it won't take anything away from our own! Isn't that great?

All because He chose the Cross, which we remember tomorrow on Good Friday. The Light was momentarily darkened, but shone brighter than ever 3 days later--never to be dimmed again. Hallelujah! Something to celebrate indeed.

There was an amazing Easter event at our new church which included a glow Easter egg hunt! The sanctuary was blacked out, and they had bright black lights that made the eggs and decorations florescent.

The versus they had written on the black walls spoke to me as I had been thinking about this whole light of the world thing, giving me goosebumps...

I don't know where I'd be without the Light that shines in my life, as the darkness of death and grief threaten from the shadows. The Light gives me Hope. And with it, joy and peace. Because I know that because Jesus lives, my Drew does too.

I love how God reveals himself to us in so many different ways, IF we're paying attention. Like last week when we were temporarily in the dark. Reminding me just in time for Easter of the wonderful truth that He is the Light that the darkness could not extinguish, as hard as it tried.

Happy Easter everyone. Let's celebrate the Light of the world together, and rejoice that death has no victory in my family or in yours because of Jesus!

Celebrating Life

We just got back from our first big family vacation, just us 3. It went so well. I really think it couldn't have gone better! Molly is at such a good age--old enough to keep her stuff together, but young enough to still have that wonder and joy of childhood.

Prayers of safe travels, safety at ports, healing from colds and protection from catching new ones, as well as Molly not getting sea sick were all answered. I'll try to start from the beginning and keep it not too long 😉

It was so fun to watch her get more and more excited as the day approached to set sail. She told everyone from her bus driver to checkout cashiers she was going on a cruise ship next week. We watched YouTube videos of our ship, and browsed through photos of our excursions. All of us could hardly wait by the last few days!

But as always, the more happy and excited we all got, the sadness built too. I found myself thinking, gosh, if only Drewy could go with us too! If only I could watch him get excited. If only Molly had her brother to squeal with excitement with...

The whole vacation experience didn't disappoint, from the 4:15AM Uber ride to O'Hare on, it was all exciting. Even before we got to the big ship the air plane rides, taxis, and hotel pool were pretty exciting for a seven year old (and me too, really!).

Then we walked up the gangway to the ship and said Bon Voyage! Leaving the real world behind for over a week.

All 8 days of the cruise were amazing. The sea days included lots of sun, food, water slides, arcade games, deck games, more food, and more sun. 

Molly participated in activities at Camp Ocean, the child zone where parents can drop off their kids a few different times. But not as much as we thought. And you know? It was okay! It was so fun to do things together. I certainly didn't mind being on Mom duty from a poolside with a tropical drink in hand😎

The port days were great too. At Grand Turk in the Turks and Caicos islands we did a glass bottom boat tour that was really neat and a good way to start the ocean activities before going to our first beach.

In San Juan, Puerto Rico, we didn't have an excursion but made our way through the cobblestone streets to the umbrella road and back again. It was pretty warm that day in between all the buildings, over 90°guys. Molly and I were hot. Feel sorry for us...😉

Then in St Kitts we did a snorkeling excursion and I was so impressed by how well Molly took to it! She really loved it. The scenery was beautiful.

We all think they saved the best port for last, though. St Maarten was absolutely gorgeous. The beach had to be one of the most beautiful I've been blessed to experience. Soft white sand, amazingly aqua water. And the waves were big enough to really get you excited, yet not too big to enjoy. I could have watched Molly play in those waves forever. And she probably could have too!

During the evenings we enjoyed "fancy" dinners in the dining room, shows, deck top movies, and parlor games.

And unlike other trips when Josh and I go alone, this time I felt no pull to go back home because Molly was with us! No wondering how she was doing, or if she missed us. She did so well, used her manners and listened to us most of the time. It was enjoyable getting to know her better, see her in a new setting and how she handles things. She's a pretty interesting kid! I think we have entered in a new phase of life where family vacations really are fun!

I guess there is only one way it could have been better. I know you all see it coming...As our family of 3 found our groove and really enjoyed each other, I just couldn't help at times wondering what the groove our family of 4 could have found. How our happy-go-lucky, outgoing and charming little Drew would have fit in. At times my heart just ached noticing the empty chair at dinner, or the lone rider on the bus/airplanes and no sibling waiting for Molly to come out the bottom of the water slide...

But in another answer to prayer, we had several moments that gave me goosebumps even in the warm sun of the tropics, as Drew's presence was felt. The moments Molly and I looked at each other and without a word knew that what just happened was especially for us. It was such a gift. Like all the rainbows at our first port, which the guide said was rare. Moments I'll carry with me forever...

Drew would have turned 5 today, April 1st.

Five years old, I can't even imagine it.

The last two birthdays have hit me hard. As this one approached I've obviously been a little distracted--which I decided as I had time to think and write on the planes yesterday, is okay.

As I wash clothes, grocery shop, put away tank tops and swim suits for a few more months today, I've been thinking maybe we did the best celebration of Drew's life so far. The week of his birthday we did just what he taught us--to make the most of each day. To embrace joy and live fully in the moment. It's not that he would've loved the trip--he DID! I have no doubt.

No, I haven't cried about his birthday yet this year. That special day we shared 5 years ago when Drewy came into this world didn't seem to hurt as much as it has in the past. Which doesn't mean we didn't remember him, that he wasn't very much in our thoughts and hearts. We continue to miss him every day, but what that looks like is changing. Maybe I won't cry every year on his birthday. Maybe we can celebrate his life by living ours.

We believe he is okay. And because of Jesus, we can rest in the hope that we will see him again. There will be beaches even more beautiful than the ones I saw last week where BOTH my children will laugh and play in the waves, and I really can sit and watch them forever...

And that hope frees us to enjoy today. To smile on his birthday, and not to cry. We can trust that it will be alright, allowing us to let joy fill us while we are in the most incredible places in the mean time. Enjoying each other and looking forward to being together again. Like a preview of the paradise we'll relish in some day for all days.



And last week in the Caribbean Ocean during Spring Break, that's just what we did❤