Seems crazy that a whole month has gone by since we made the journey west to our new home in Colorado! But it has. And once again, a whole lot has happened in the last month, but somehow not a lot has happened in a way too. I'll start from the beginning!
The moving team came first thing in the morning to start packing up our house in Bolingbrook. It gives you such a weird feeling to watch all your things be boxed up and packed away by strangers. But one I'm so thankful for! Man, what a blessing to have so much of the physical work of moving done for us!
And then the next day came when they loaded up the big truck with almost all of our worldly possessions! As it drove off and we were left with an empty house save for a few folding chairs, air mattresses, and suitcases, I was reminded once again what really is essential in life. How funny it is we deemed only a few keepsakes, supplies and comfort items necessary to keep with us and trusted that the rest of what we owned would be brought to our new home the following week...
Travel day for us started bright and early the next day, and God answered our prayers for a safe and smooth caravan west to Colorado. We were able to stop and see my family as we made our way through Iowa for a quick, socially-distanced, parking lot brunch of Casey's breakfast pizza before we kept rollin'!
And seemly before we knew it, we'd made it to Colorado! Even Snickers did better then we thought on the 14 hour drive.
We spent 4 whole days without our things in our new home. While it was nice to get some deep cleaning done, decide on furniture/rug placement, get our mail situation figured out and internet line installed--boy was I ready to see my bed after so long on an air mattress! And all our other things of course...
As the moving team unload the truck--putting boxes in the correct rooms, laying area rugs down before they set up our furniture--I was so grateful once again for their service. Hormel's relocation package is so awesome! And makes these transitions WAY easier.
In the last month since we were left on our own to unpack boxes, set up, and get settled in--we've been doing really well. We were able to get most of the boxes unpacked and picked up from the moving company within a week! We're working on decorating (hanging more curtains 😒) and organizing--finding storage space and letting go of excess furniture and things we just don't have room for or need anymore. Moving helps you become more of a minimalist!
In between the unpacking and settling in--we have made an effort to get out and explore the area as much as we can. We drove just an hour up to Estes Park the 2nd weekend we were here and had fun being tourists for an afternoon!
While much of the indoor stuff is still closed, we've been taking advantage of the many walking paths and trails in our community. The views are just amazing! I never thought of myself as outdoorsy, but this state just might make me think twice about that...
While we are so thankful to have family in the area, we'd love to make more connections in the community. But it's hard to meet people when parks, libraries, churches, gyms and pools are closed. Thankfully, Molly doesn't seem to crave social interaction like I do. Which, for now, I know is a gift. And since we already spent time figuring out how to get through the days in Chicagoland without those social outlets, it kind of feels like not as much as changed, just the setting we find ourselves in. But even so, I can't wait to start adding those things back into our days...
While we wait, we got ourselves an inflatable pool, have been trying out new recipes like homemade Jello popsicles, and getting out the Legos once again. And just this week, starting to go explore neighborhood parks that just opened.
But I know so many are more than just inconvenienced right now by all that is going on in the world. Many people I know personally are struggling, are hurting, and feeling like there is nothing to look forward to as one thing after the other keeps coming up and effecting our lives this year. Anger, resentment, selfishness and mean-spirited attitudes seem to be coming at us from all directions, and it's hard to not let those negative vibes get to you.
I think back to 2016, my most challenging year yet. The year I was told my son would not survive his journey with cancer after all the harsh treatment we had consented for him to endure. My heart will never forget how crushed, helpless and deeply disappointed I felt. That year, anger, resentment, despair and hopelessness tried to pull me in, big time.
What kept me from falling into the negative? Many of you who followed our story know. It was gratitude. Trust in the Lord. And doing my best to live in the moment, not to let fear or worry rob me of the present, the time I did had with my amazing son.
I remember the day early on in treatment when God helped me see that all the bumps in our road--all the setbacks and challenges--weren't a deviation from the path we were meant to be on, but was His plan for us all along. Each infection, lost line, seemingly random complication, and ultimately the end of our journey, wasn't a mistake to blame on someone or something else, but had purpose. It all was meant to grow me, teach me, and make me a better follower of Jesus. A better mother, wife, family member and friend, if I would just say "no" to being a victim and be open to what good could come out of our situation.
2020 has been quite a year. Back in January when I wrote out my 20 in 2020 list and made other resolutions for the year, I had no idea what this year would bring. Not just our family's next chapter, but the things in store for the world in the coming months. For many of you, this is turning out to be your most challenging year yet, your 2016. Health and economic concerns, social unrest and racial tension, and mounting marital and family pressures as a result of all of it--there is so much trying to pull us into that place of despair, bitterness, and helplessness right now. But it doesn't have to win.
From my experience, I rest assured that God is in control. He won't ever abandon or forsake us. All the events of 2020 aren't a wrong turn from our path, a setback from where we are "suppose" to be as a country, or in our families or marriages. The challenges and struggles we face aren't a mistake, but is where we were always meant to be at this exact moment. This is all a part of God's plan. It has purpose, even though it hurts and seems so unfair. What is that purpose? How are we growing, learning, and becoming better people through it all? I don't have all the answers, but I know its worth thinking about.
One of the things I've enjoyed the most out here so far are the mountains. They are so amazing. You may know this, maybe you've been told or have visited, but when they become part of the background of your life, it makes them even more spectacular. Their grandeur and beauty is just captivating...
From my experience, I rest assured that God is in control. He won't ever abandon or forsake us. All the events of 2020 aren't a wrong turn from our path, a setback from where we are "suppose" to be as a country, or in our families or marriages. The challenges and struggles we face aren't a mistake, but is where we were always meant to be at this exact moment. This is all a part of God's plan. It has purpose, even though it hurts and seems so unfair. What is that purpose? How are we growing, learning, and becoming better people through it all? I don't have all the answers, but I know its worth thinking about.
One of the things I've enjoyed the most out here so far are the mountains. They are so amazing. You may know this, maybe you've been told or have visited, but when they become part of the background of your life, it makes them even more spectacular. Their grandeur and beauty is just captivating...
They serve to remind me of my small place in this vast world. They reveal to me God's glory in a whole new way. Seeing what the mountains look like each morning (as the weather has such an impact on their appearance) is something that I look forward to when I wake up.
On one of our walks recently, with our section of the Front Range filling the space in front of us, I thought about just how far we've come in just 3 short years since those early months in Austin, Minnesota, after Drew died. No longer a "typical" stay-at-home mom of 2 littles, but now a bereaved parent with a 5 year old, I wasn't sure what life would be like, how we would move forward without our Drew...
But here we are, in Colorful Colorado! In just 3 years time we've made our new identity as not just a bereaved family, but a happy one. One that Drew is still very much a part of, just in a different way. We are a family that is growing together. We've built and manage an expanding non profit in our son's memory, and have literally moved forward twice now in less than two years. We're doing okay. More than okay, we are doing well. We are safe. We have enough, in many senses of the word. We have learned to balance our grief from the great loss of our Drew with love and joy most days. And in only a few years since our toughest year...what more could I ask for?
Maybe that can give you hope right now if you are one of the ones struggling this year. No matter what you are in the middle of, things can get better. And in a shorter time than you might think. In only a few short years, you can find yourself in a whole new set of circumstances. So keep your head up. Keep going. Trust that He will work all things out for your good. Really believe that, and count your blessings each day. 2020 may be a year that will stay with us for a long time. But hopefully, like 2016 for me, it'll be a year that, despite what it has cost, leaves you forever changed for the better.
