In the Garden...

This Spring, Molly and I created our first garden.  In the far corner of our back yard there was a 9'x8' woodchipped stone/bird bath area, a perfect starting place.  I always thought I'd like to have a garden, but have never actually followed through.  This year was the year to try something new, to not put anything off for another season.

So Molly and I went shopping in the seed section of Walmart in early May.  She picked out a pretty random assortment--carrots, onions, sugar snap peas, watermelon and pumpkin.  I knew I wanted tomatoes, peppers and some herbs--basil and parsley--which I bought as plants.

We got home and had to prepare the area to be a garden.  Moving the bark chips, removing the under layer of tarp, tilling the soil.  Molly was eager to just skip to the planting the seeds part, but I told her we'll be glad we took the time to prepare the garden as well as we could.  Our plants would grow better, and it would look nicer.

I've heard before how much gardening teaches you about life.  Some of them, obvious lessons.  But this Summer I learned some not so obvious lessons.  I saw and felt things from this garden that really hit home, and so perfectly embodied many of the feelings I have as I continue through this season of grief.  All summer I've been writing things down, and knew I had to share. 

In this beginning stage of the garden, I could see in Molly how easy it is to just go with your eager emotions and dive right in.  Skip to the fun part, and rip open the packages, bury the seeds and give them a drink!  But you have to have some self control.  Hold back, think ahead, and do things the right way.  How many times do I want to just jump right in to something new, and not wait?  Skip the planning, the praying, the preparation, and just go right to the fun part?  Kids show you so much about yourself in their unfiltered emotions and reactions.  And in Molly, I saw a lot of myself right now as I start new projects, new endeavors.

So I explained to Molly, we should read the directions, see how each seed should be planted, and then make a plan for our space, since we didn't have very much!  Onions and carrots didn't sound like they needed as much sun, so they should go in the back row, spaced apart like the package said.  Then the snap peas in front of them we decided.  The pumpkin seeds were suppose to be planted in mounds, sets of 4 or 5?  Same with the watermelon.  And were suppose to get a lot of sun.  So the front right corner seemed best since it got the most sun.  We finally placed the tomato, pepper and herb plants behind the pumpkin/watermelon mounds along the far ride side.

All in all, it was a lot of work preparing, planning and starting the garden.  We watered the seeds, took a picture, and were excited to see them all come up!  Molly wanted to know what makes them grow.  I thought a minute, and told her it was God's touch.  We did all we could do, put the seeds just how they should be in the prepared ground, but what actually makes them grow is kind of magic.  God brings them to life, just like he brings each of us to life.  We wondered if maybe God would let Drew touch our seeds to make them grow, we were sure Drew'd love that...

Not long word must have gotten out among the neighborhood rabbits, because I swear there were a dozen having a social in my yard the very next weekend.  It was like they were just waiting for the seeds to sprout and they'd have their salad luncheon.  So Molly and I went to Runnings and got some chicken wire.  I forgot stakes, but found poles I could use in our shed.  Now we were all set!

The fencing was something I had forgotten to do in our initial set up.  As I saw the danger for my little seeds, I adjusted accordingly.  In life, don't we do that a lot?  "Wow, I didn't think that would be an issue!  I guess I'll have to change up my plan!".  And we do, and we move on.

Molly and I watered our garden those first few weeks before we ever saw anything come up.   And finally we saw the first sprouts.  In neat little rows!  Drew had touched our seeds, and they were finally coming up!  We saw them all peek out of the ground in different orders and rate of growth.  Accept the watermelons, where were they?  Everytime we checked, everything was making progress but the watermelon...they never did come up.  Why didnt' they grow?  We did all we should have for them. I guessed we'd never know.  Drew must have missed a few.

I remembered what I'd told Molly as I thought about those watermelon seeds.  We have to do all we can for the seeds, but its up to God to bring them to life.  I thought of some of the dreams I've had that never were realized, plans I've made but didn't work out.  I guess we can plant the seeds, do all the work that's for us on our end, but if it's not in God's plan, the seeds won't be brought to life, won't grow.  And sometimes we never know why, or find out later...

Back to the garden, the peas were getting really tall, flopping over!  Do they need a cage like the tomatoes did?  I looked it up--yes!  They are suppose to grow on a trellis!  What did I have for that??  I looked around in the shed again.  I could use the rest of my 3 foot chicken wire just stretched out between the rows of peas.  I got it all rigged up and the peas grabbed right on and grew tall!  More mid-game adjustments, but we were cookin' along!

Things were really starting to grow, it was fun to watch!  But Molly wanted to know when we'd get the vegetables?  "It will take time, dear.  You have to care for the plants, keep them watered, pull weeds from around them for a long time before you see any vegetables".  She didn't like that answer.  And in life, I don't either.  It can be hard to be patient, keep working without seeing any reward.  We get tired, discouraged.  But we have to keep the big picture in mind, where we are in the story.  This is just the middle, the end will come and we'll get our reward.  We just need to keep working...

And then the pumpkins really started to take off.  I thought everyone was just saying they "strangle" things out as an expression--no, they literally do!  Every few days I'd come out and pull the vines that were warpping around my tomatoes plants!  I started directing them in front of the peas, and up and over the fence.  Still no vegetables...

And finally, we got our first snap peas!  It was the first product out of our garden--and we were thrilled!

And the pumpkin vines continued to grow, now with bright yellow flowers.

We pulled out a few onions, but I think I let them stay in the ground too long.  They were getting tall and long in the back row, and I figured I'd let them keep going!  But they started to look droopy, and when I did pull them out, they were slimy.  I think they were actually green onions, shallots, not big ones.  So I should have gotten them out sooner.  I'll know better next year.  But I could use a few in our enchiladas .  And we couldn't resist pulling a few of the carrots. They really were orange!  And smelled like carrots!  But we decided we'd better keep them in longer.  The herbs were so nice to have for recipes.

But then one week, the peas started to turn white.  They resurfaced the parking lot behind our house, and the dust had settled on all the plants.  I tried to rinse the leaves of each plant, but the peas never recovered.  They withered and stopped producing peas.  I'm not sure what happened.  Some have told me peas just have a short season.  But, I wondered if the dust killed them.  We were disappointed. 

And as I mowed the next several weeks and saw the beautiful, flourishing garden all round those dying peas, I felt a familiar saddness.  It was just so striking, the death amongst the life.  For whatever reason, and without anything I could do, the peas were done.  After building a trellis, all the preparations we did for the peas, and they were just done.  I couldn't help but think of my Drew, and all the hopes and dreams we had for him.  All the "trellises" we built to support his life, and then he was just done. There was nothing we could do.  How out of place his death is amongst the life and energy of other children, his friends, still growing and developing.  I mowed and cried that afternoon as I made that connection, as I looked across my garden.  And I couldn't bring myself to pull them out.  The dried up pea plants stayed among the thriving garden until just recently...

Without the peas, we had a lull in our garden action.  Except to watch the pumpkin vines continue to grow.  And grow, and grow!  See Molly all the way in the back??

I thought back to those watermelon seeds that never came up, and I got it now.  There wouldn't have been room in my garden for both watermelon and pumpkins!  As I looked out at the vines which grew 10 feet or more into my yard,  I decided that was why no watermelon seeds grew.  God knew better than me, and He told Drew to skip those seeds, even if He knew it'd make us disappointed.  Because it would work better for our garden in the long run.   At the time, we didn't understand, but looking back I can see it.  Like many of my dreams and plans for the future, only God can know sometimes what will work out best for our lives, and He choices in His wisdom, not to bless the plans we've made in order to make room for other ones to grow.  I can be sad for not seeing watermelon this year, but thankful for the pumpkins that did grow.

Then finally we saw our first pumpkin, and some green tiny tomatoes starting to grow!  We couldn't help but pull a few carrots here and there as well, just to "check their progress"...

As we got deeper into the Summer, the tomatoes finally started coming too, and more pumpkins started to grow.  A few would start along the vines, but since they all were now outside of the fence, some would get eaten up or torn apart from animals. 

But if they managed to get big enough, tough enough, whatever animal that was trying to breakfast on them couldn't get through the skin.  One got pretty scratched up, but was strong enough to keep growing.  Now the scars tell the story of how it managed to survive, despite the odds.  In that pumpkin I saw myself.  A survivor, but not without scratches, scars.  But I will wear them proudly, to show that life tried to stop us, but we kept growing, just like that pumpkin.

 

And our tomatoes finally started to turn red!  BLTs with good, thick, Hormel Bacon (😉) and sweet corn from the corner stand made it taste like Summer around our house for several weeks!

We pulled enough carrots one day to have with our pot roast for dinner!

And we ended up with three pumpkins, growing, and orange-ing up!  We checked them out each day on our walk back from the bus stop, and watched in amazement their slow evolution from green to bright orange.

Finally it was time to cut those pumpkins off the vine we decided, to display them on our deck.  Our prize for the whole season of work.  To showcase the amazing process that took place from when we planted our tiny pumpkin seeds, to the huge plant they became, and the brilliant pumpkins that were produced.

We had a batch of tomatoes red all at once, and with some from my Father-in-Law's garden, last week we made homemade spaghetti sauce, and also homemade chili.

Maybe I've lost some of you with this post.  Not everyone is interested in gardening, I know.  But if you've made it this far, I hope you too have seen the story unfold as we did, with wonder.  How amazing it really is that our garden went from a few seeds in the ground and some straggly plants, to an overflowing, flourishing garden this summer.

And maybe you're with me in the symbolism so richly displayed.  I've learned a lot from my first garden.  Practically, that I should put my pumpkins somewhere else next year.  So they can have more room and to give the other plants space.  And in a related note, to space out my tomato plants more. I've learned to research plants first, build my trellis before I need it, if plants require it.  I learned to expect different growing seasons, that some plants have their lives spent earlier than others.  And my garden this year reinforced that preparation, planning ahead, working hard, being consistent and persistent, pays off.   But many times, you have to wait for it.  There will be weeks that all you do is work without reward, but it's coming.  The tomatoes do come, and turn red.  The pumpkins get bigger and slowly turn bright orange.  And carrots are doing their thing, out of sight, under the ground.  Just because you can't tell, doesn't mean they aren't growing, aren't making progress.  

As I prepared meals and side dishes from the fruits of our labor from this first garden, I hate to admit it, but I cried.  I know it sounds dramatic, and silly.  But all the work, the magic from God that caused our seeds and work to turn into the vegetables that I was turning into something delicious for my family, was just so beautiful.  It reminded me to not underestimate what God can do.  How much can come from something so tiny like a seed. 

It's sad, I think my generation as a whole has lost these skills I learned over the Summer.  We are missing the opportunity to gain these powerful insights because we're too busy to tend a garden, and make food from scratch. It is so much more convenient, and maybe even cheaper, to buy it from the store.  But, just like in life, there's value in the process.  It's not all about the bowl of chili in the end, but what you learned in getting it from the seed packages into the bowl. Somehow it tastes so much better because of the work that went into it. We appreciate it so much more if we had to earn it through our own labor.  And this summer, this garden was so worth all the work for what it gave us.  Not just in delicious meals and attractive front step displays, but in the wisdom, comfort, and hope that grew amongst the vegetables.  And we too have continued to grow through it, proudly wearing the scars we've earned, despite the odds.