Introducing Drew

I've talked a lot about Drew lately. Said his name, described his personality, and sat with his memory. I've felt his sparkle again as I tell stories from their very special places within my heart. And it's felt so good. So, natural. I like talking about my Drew, I missed him being so much a part of my everyday conversations.

I anticipated a variety of good feelings after publishing my book--accomplishment, gratitude, and encouragement. But I guess I underestimated the one I'm relishing in the most, feeling close to my Drew again as I share him with everyone.

It was one of the things I hoped to accomplish through Grasping Joy, to introduce my Drew to those who didn't get the opportunity to meet him. Or, after 10 years, reminding those who had the privilege just what a character he was. The strength, bravery, and trust Drew showed off in his last year. 

Drew was a funny kid. Not just humorous, but interesting. I know I've shared this before but from the start, my biggest "problem" with Drew was that he smiled too much. As a baby, he'd quit nursing and look up at me and smile--which disrupted the task at hand! Get back to business Drewy, stop taking a break to smile at me! 

Looking back, that was just the start. Drew was always after your attention, trying to make you smile or laugh. He seemed to know how to relate to people, no matter who they were or what they were doing with him. From other sick children to the anesthesiologists, he could find a way to connect and cheer them up.

He also was actually funny too--telling jokes, teasing, and generally being a goof. At two years old, it was unexpected and caught you off guard! Which only added to his enjoyment. 

As people get through more of the book, I am loving receiving messages and texts with reactions and feedback. While I appreciate them all, my favorite are the ones about Drew. Amazed at all he handled, his tender heart, and the legacy he left behind.

Molly hadn't read through the whole book herself until recently. I obviously had shared a lot with her during the process, especially what I was writing about her. But at first, she didn't want to read it altogether, saying she wasn't sure she wanted to be sad for me and for Drew. She shared that she didn't remember much of that year while Drew was in treatment and didn't know what memories it might bring back up. I told her I could understand that and let her decide when she wanted to read it. 

But curiosity must have got the best of her, and she decided to read through it like everyone else once we got the first copies. She reads at bedtime, and each morning I was eager to chat with her over breakfast about the part she was on. She rolled her eyes at Drew blowing kisses to the nurses and wondered about his love for pickles--why pickles?

On the way to school one morning, she asked if he really teased the nurse that his name was Joe. Yes! He really did. I was there and heard it! And it was so funny. We both smiled for a moment, and I have no doubt Drew was there with us in the car as we went down the street, tickled that he made us smile another time...

Some of the parts of the story, though, sparked more serious conversation. Why did we make the choices we did? What was she doing during this time or that time? And of course, the what if's... Those conversations were good too, even though they didn't always leave us with a smile.

May 2nd was my book launch party here in Fresno/Clovis and it was so great! A wonderful afternoon that was really encouraging and uplifting. My family came from Iowa, friends from the gym, and from my bible study group. New faces too--friends of friends--came to meet me and get a copy of the book. 

At one point there was a line to the table where I sat and signed copies. I looked up for a moment and had a realization--this is happening! I'm signing books and people are waiting in line! Crazy.

My favorite part though, was talking about my Drew. Sharing him with so many that missed him by a decade. Reading sections of the book of moments where Drew inspired me as he made his way through his journey. As images of Drew cycled above my shoulder, I talked about how special my son was, and it was all I could hope for. Introducing my Drew to this whole new community, our present community.

I've been interviewed by newspapers and a podcast since the book came out and have more lined up next month! The easiest questions I'm asked are about Drew. And again, I love that I get to say his name, talk about him again, and people want to hear it. One of the worst fears a grieving mother has is that their child will be forgotten. Life goes on, as it does, and people move on. It's easy to believe that your son or daughter's life didn't matter, that no one cares about who they were and how much you loved them. 

What a gift it is that I am reassured after so many years that my Drew did matter. That our love for him is seen and his legacy lives on. I am telling his story and people are listening. His strength and joy are inspiring and encouraging people, even after his life ended. 

I have another author event coming up in Austin next month. I can't wait to be back in the place I consider home, our wonderful little city in Minnesota. I'll no doubt cry like I always do when I start going down the familiar streets, drive by our old houses, see the places that hold such important and tender memories. 

And that's before I even meet up with the people that make the town so special! 

If you're in the Austin or the SE Minnesota area, I'd love to see you at Sweet Reads on Saturday, June 20th. From 11-1pm I'll be there for Coffee with an Author, and I can't wait!

I'll be delighted to sign your books, hear your feedback, and talk about my Drew 💙