Beyond Our Grasp

We walked along the path still lined with snow up to General Grant. Tall, broad, and towering above all of us at 268 feet tall, with a forty-foot maximum diameter. Its estimated age is 1,700 years old. This magnificent tree is the second largest in the world. Josh, Molly, and I stood under the giant sequoia at Kings Canyon National Park in disbelief. 

Maybe disbelief isn't exactly the right word. We read the sign, saw with our eyes the General, but couldn't really grasp it. 

Our limited perception couldn't seem to hold the magnitude of this big tree. We walked around it, got photos from all angles. It was quiet for how many people were standing in the forest looking at this one tree. I think we all were wrestling with the same feeling.

We continued to walk around the paths of the sequoia grove. Even the "small" sequoias making us feel like we were in Honey I Shrunk the Kids, it almost didn't feel real. 

On the drive home we talked about how it felt to stand by the great trees we had been so excited to see. Realizing you can't fully grasp the size of the trees left us frustrated in a way. Like we missed out on the full experience because our capacity was too small to hold it all.

A similar feeling came over me as we stood at the bottom of Bridalveil Fall in Yosemite this month. We saw it from above as we entered the famous Yosemite Valley. Our anticipation grew as we approached the waterfall from the parking lot and along the path.

The mist got heavier and thicker as we got closer and closer to the base. It was hard to get pictures as the lens would get wet from the suspended water. Six hundred and thirteen feet tall. An average width of 35 feet. Incredible! How many gallons of water pour through this waterfall each second? Again, it was hard to grasp, nearly impossible to wrap my mind around the enormity.

Yosemite was full of more awe-inspiring sights. Yosemite Falls, Half Dome, El Capitan, the perfect reflection in Mirror Lake. It was breathtaking, it really was. 

The ocean has the same effect and is one of the many reasons we love to cruise. Looking out at the vast blue ocean, knowing your eyes can only take in a small percentage of the tremendous volume of water you're surrounded by.

Life is full of these encounters with the remarkable, and they aren't all physical. The experience of a major life event--graduations, weddings, and births. Diagnosis, moves, and deaths. We all can relate to the awe of the moment whether good or bad. How it doesn't feel real, like we're just going through the motions. Our minds can't wrap around the magnitude of what is happening in front of our eyes. We recognize the importance, the giant occasion in our lives towering over the ordinary, but can't fully grasp it. The profound leaves us stunned just like I was under General Grant.

This feeling can be thrilling, to be in the midst of something so much bigger than you. Many chase the opportunity to be overwhelmed by the larger-than-life. To be dwarfed by the magnitude of something great. It's humbling, and ironically puts things into perspective despite not being able to fit into our limited perspective. Which can be kind of scary, too. Difficult to trust in God when you lack complete understanding, when you are aware of your inability to fully comprehend what is happening around you.

I think it's a yearning that God put into us. A level of awareness that we reach for but will never fully achieve. Because it's Him we ultimately stand in awe of. Him who caused that little seed to grow into the giant tree. God who formed the cliffs and pushes the water over the edge for us to be mesmerized by. On the third day, it was God who created the oceans all over earth. It's His perfect plan that dictates the events of our lives, and the presence of His Spirit in the big moments along the way.

Whether we realize it or not, it's His glory we stand in awe of in these mind-blowing displays of His power.

It's another aspect of Heaven we can look forward to. The thrill of witnessing and experiencing God's power, but without the frustration of not being able to fully grasp it. As the bible says: 

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

We know from our experiences that our perception is veiled in this life. Yet, we have glimpses that cause us to look forward to the day we can know fully. What an amazing day that will be! And what hope it gives us for our loved ones already there. How wonderful that my Drew gets to be surrounded by God's glory and have the ability to take in every aspect of it. To sit in awe at His power without any fear. I can't wait to join you, sweet boy.

We've been in California for six months now. Crazy how fast time goes. We're really enjoying not just the amazing outdoors here, but all the California vibes. Palm tree lined walks, amazing weather basically since we've been here, and really great sushi!

The diversity is different here, a new variety of people than other places we've lived, which is really neat. The fruit stands at the corner are there year-round selling citrus fruits, strawberries, and cherries so far. Can't wait to see what's in season next!

We had a front row seat for the famous Almond Bloom in the central valley this spring. There were many different blossoms to marvel at in the many orchards around our area. It was beautiful! 

We had a California Spring Break, driving to LA for a day at Disneyland and then getting on a short cruise that took us to Catalina Island and Baja California. It was great to see and be on the Pacific Ocean again!

Everyone keeps warning us about how brutal summer is here. But I tell them I'm not scared. I lived in Minnesota for 10 years and got through some pretty brutal winters, I think I can handle the heat. Thank God for air conditioning! 

Besides, we have plans to take in more of this state's natural and man-made wonders. We also are looking forward to visits back to Colorado and to the Midwest to see family and friends. Molly and I will do another Warrior Wagons tour to connect with our coordinators and hospitals before school starts up again.

I'm sure the next six months will fly by just as fast as these last have. And each time I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of something much bigger than me, I'll praise God. For His awesome power and love for me and my family. I'll try not to let it frustrate me, but look forward to when I can fully grasp it all, with all the people I love 💖

See You Later

The sign out front of the house is somehow the hardest part. You’d think it would be the least of the things involved with moving that gets to you. But that sign up is a constant reminder that this is real, it’s happening.

                                                

For the third time in five years, we have a sign in our yard. Our Colorado chapter is coming to an end, and another is about to begin in our family’s journey.

We could feel that the time was coming. Josh had gotten some hints that we should be preparing ourselves for the next opportunity. And in early September, he got official word. The next role for him within Hormel would be as a Plant Manager! An exciting step up for him. The plant he’d be at? Corn Nuts! In Fresno, California.

We are so happy for him! And proud of the career he is building. I know he'll do awesome leading Corn Nuts, and it'll be fun to cheer him on. 

Colorado wasn’t going to be our forever home; we knew we’d probably have only a few years here. And where we’d go next was kind of a fun guessing game. We knew California was a possibility, and when Josh learned that was it, we took a little bit to get used to the idea--at least I did. It’s a long way from Iowa and Minnesota! And I had some concerns. But we did a little research, watched some YouTube videos as any normal person in 2023 would. And what we found was really encouraging.

Honestly, it sounded a lot like Colorado! Lots of outdoor things to do and see. Hiking, National Parks, and beautiful weather to enjoy. Fresno is a very ag-centered community in the central valley, something a Midwest family could fit in to it seems. The housing is actually more affordable than most places in California, even a little better market than our high prices in Colorado! I found great school options for Molly—which was one of my biggest concerns.

The more things came together, the more I couldn’t deny that God was leading us to our next home in California. So many specific prayers were answered that gave me peace about our family moving the rest of the way across the country. I felt God reassuring me—do you not trust me? Don’t you think I’ll take care of you, that I can protect you wherever you go? You don’t have to be afraid.

My heart joined my head and got on board for a Becker California adventure.

The last weekend of September I went out to Fresno to join Josh to house hunt. I watched out the window almost the whole time as the mountains changed to desert, and finally green patches of fields checkered the ground as we made our final decent. 

I got on the escalator and couldn't believe my eyes as what, maybe who, was waiting to greet me in Fresno:

 

I couldn't deny the sign from my Drewy 💚💛

Josh had already been in Fresno for a week at the plant and was able to start the house hunting process early. By the time I got there we were already negotiating a contract for a new build near the neighboring town/Fresno suburb of Clovis.

                                          

We found just what we were looking for in this new build, which is the last new home in the subdivision to be finished! I’ll have a dining room again, and a big closet 😊

                                                  

I left that weekend really feeling like we'll do okay there, in California. Fresno will be more similar to our home in the Chicago Suburbs, with everything you could ever want within 20 minutes. But it will also have a lot of what we love about Colorado--scenery and weather. I'm not sure how my first winter without snow will go, or if I'll ever get used to palm tree sunsets, but I'll try to enjoy it 😉

 

Back on the Colorado side, our house went on the market on October 5^th. We had six showings in the first four days, and two offers. We’ve moved forward with one of them, and the inspection was this week. The final steps are being taken, and I’m so relieved and thankful that the selling side worked out so well. More answered prayers!

                                      

 

So now, much of the work is done. The big decisions made, the major stuff figured out. Next month the moving crew will come and pack up our life. In what's becoming somewhat routine for us, I’ll supervise as almost everything we own is boxed up, wrapped up, and moved onto a single truck. It’ll pull off, and I’ll know, there’s nothing to do but follow it. We just have the hard part left, the actual hard part.

Saying goodbye.

This will be a hard move for us. We’ve absolutely loved Colorado. The weather as been almost life changing—who knew summers could actually be pleasant, and winters not brutal? I never thought of myself as outdoorsy in the least, but in Colorado, I’ve really embraced the opportunity to take in all the sights, sounds, smells, and experiences of living on the front range.

Molly and I even went to a rodeo this summer in Estes Park! We felt very Colorado Cowgirl, if only for a night.

For the first time, we’ve had family close by. Molly’s been able to have sleepovers with her second cousins, and I’ve been able to be a part of my cousin’s everyday life. We’ve really connected with the friends we’ve made here. Molly has a BFF that will be so hard to leave. I have a BFF that will be hard to leave! We’ve shared so much life in just three years with them, it’s hard to believe it’s only been three years in some ways. These will be friendships we have for life.

We’ve become a part of this community and they’ve been so kind and welcoming. We will miss our neighbors, the post lady, and my friends at Papa Murphy’s where I get a pizza most Fridays! My CBS ladies, Josh’s work group, and of course my gym buddies. So many wonderful people that we are blessed to have had in our lives.

It’s a bittersweet time right now. We can be talking about how far it is to the beach from our new house, as we get ready to leave for a “last” and trying to hold it together. It’s another “and also” situation. We are excited for California, and also so sad to leave Colorado. Both can be true at once; one not making the other any less real or valid.

Saying goodbye is never easy, which is why I refuse to do it. As you all know, in our world, it’s just “see you later”. See you later in this life, see you for forever in the next.

As we begin to take things down from the walls and purge stuff that doesn’t need to make an 831 mile move, the house is already starting to seem less like home. It sounds different, feels different. With the sign in the yard and talking about the move each day, the transition has already begun. Which, in a way, helps. Even though you desperately want to hold on to the familiar and the comfortable, the subtle changes, the baby steps, help make the big steps more manageable.

And I know that’s how it will go in California. Once we get our photos on the walls there, when our couch is in the living room and we have our first meal at our dining room table, it’ll begin to feel more like home. Each piece we put into its place—school, church, gym, favorite pizza spot—California will feel more familiar, more comfortable. I'll continue to run Warrior Wagons from yet another time zone away and can finish the edits on my book from the new home office. We’ll still miss our Colorado life and friends, just as we still miss our Chicago friends, and our Minnesota ones too.

And unfortunately, we have practice in missing. We know what it feels like to long for a time, a season, that you’ll never have back. And maybe that helps us too. After saying “see you later” to Drew, our perspective has changed. This world as it is now is not our home, ultimately. We all are on a journey through this life that will have its ups and downs. It’s celebrations and it’s tragedies. Only through God’s power and strength do we make it through.

No one knows what tomorrow will bring, how much time any of us have. The only thing we can do is to be grateful for each gift we are given and make the most of each day. And each day we have the choice to see the beauty in this world and grasp the joy, despite all the hardships. Which is why I couldn’t say no to a big opportunity like this one. I know we’ll gain wisdom and perspective from California and have the chance to share our story and the faithfulness of God through it all. Isn’t that what life is all about, what the point is?

We're going to close our eyes, hold on tight, and enjoy the ride. Just like a little boy taught me 7 years ago right about now...

So that’s where we are at. We are living in our final weeks in a home we’ve loved, trying to be present and soak it all up. All the while looking forward with hope and excitement to our next adventure. It, also, won’t be our forever home, so we plan to live it up and do all the California things.

Next month we’ll follow the moving truck over the mountains, into the sunset, wiping a few tears I’m sure as we say, see you later, Colorado. You'll always have a piece of our heart 💖