Helping Others

A week ago I sat on my deck with a box of Kleenex for an hour and half while Molly was with a friend who came to my rescue.  I sat, and I cried, in front of the chattering squirrels and chirping birds.  I wrote that last post, and felt such a weight lifted.  I received so much encouragement and support from people here in this online world, but also out in the real world--texts, encouragement at the Y, and hugs at the Art Festival.  Feeling the love of God through others comforted me, and got my heart settled back down again. I began to see the light once more from the hole I was in.  Thank you to you all!

And then the Wagons lifted me the rest of the way out.  Currently, Warrior Wagons gives Wagons to staff in two places at Mayo Clinic--Downtown on the 16th floor of the Mayo building with the Oncology department, and also to the Mayo Eugenio Litta Children's Hospital at St Mary's.  Downtown staff mostly distributes theirs to new Warriors who will be doing more outpatient treatments initially, and Child Life at St Mary's gives them out to Warriors that will be doing more inpatient treatment.  They work together to make sure no one falls though the cracks.

Both locations were out of Wagons, so Molly and I got to work assembling, labeling, and filling two Wagons for each spot:

As I stood over these Wagons, filled with so many wonderful and useful things--all donated or bought with funds gifted to us, I couldn't help but tear up.  What a privilege.  What an honor, to be the middle man for so much love to families that truly need it.  It is sobering when you think of the statistics. Since one in five children diagnosed with cancer won't survive, it is very possible one of the Warriors that will ride in one of these wagons will not make it.  And almost certainly a couple of the Warriors in the 11 Wagons we've given out already, will join Drew in Heaven.  This is real.  Kids are dying everyday in this country and world from cancer.  Its not just us.  When I think of the ups and downs these families face, the crushing disappointment that some will feel, it begs me to pause, and say a prayer over each of these Wagons.  For the kids, for the parents, for the siblings.  And I did.

When a wave of grief is crashing in, and I'm down and overwhelmed by all that was endured at the hand of cancer like last week, it's hard to focus on anything else.  Last week reminded me how easy it is to be sucked in by despair, anger, and self pity.  You are tempted to think there's no use in this world.  You can do all the right things, be the best person you can be, and look what life can hand you in return.  Look at how life treats the innocent, the children.  Kids like Drew. And their just as innocent siblings, like Molly.  Why even bother?  What's the point. 

But these Wagons, like they've done from the start, helped bring me out of that hole this week.  We know the difference they can make in the lives of the people who receive them, but they also make such a difference in us.  They convince my beaten and bruised heart once again why cancer didn't win.  Because there IS still something we can do.  There is still a point to doing the right things and being the best people we can be, because this life isn't the end.  It will all be made fair, we will see the ugly monsters of this world, like cancer, be defeated forever someday. 

 "The battle with cancer is won in how you live and love",  a truth proclaimed by another Mother of a cancer Warrior as they face the harsh reality that they may have to say "see you later" to their beautiful little girl soon.  She said beautifully what I've been getting at since the day Drew was born into eternity.  How you live and love is how you defeat cancer.  Drew certainly lived with joy and loved without restraint.  He won his battle, and no one will convince me otherwise.  Now it's our turn to fight. And it's a battle in our hearts and minds, which translate into our actions.  Are we going to live, do the right thing, be the best people we can be?  Will we love as much as we can, as many ways as we can?  Through these Wagons, we are starting off on the right foot. 

I've talked about the empowerment I'm beginning to feel.   If God got us through this, arguably one of the toughest things you can face, and we are still standing, what can't we get through??  We may have lost our Drew for now, but we are doing more than standing.  We are pulling Wagons full of care and love to the people currently on the front lines. 

As always, I left Rochester feeling so good.  Not only because of what we are doing, but by being back there.  It's a place where memories of Drew come back to life again.  Where we see the many, many people that cared for and really became Drew's friends.  People who knew him and share stories with us.  Where Molly can play in the same playrooms he played, even with the actual toys that were his favorites.

It felt so good to hear his name, Drew.  To listen to what little things remind nurses of him, and our many stays last year.  Just to be where were spent so much of our last year with him, really refuels me, and I suspect Molly as well.

Now that I'm in a better place, I'm analyzing last week's progression of emotions. As I think about how much the Wagons uplifted me, it dawns on me.  Why did these Wagons help me feel so much better? Not just the statement they make, or the empowerment we feel through them, but because we are helping others.  I am shown once again how much this practice can do for your outlook on life.  Another choice you can consciously make to turn your attitude around, like being thankful.  When you help others, you help yourself.  Because it reminds you that you're not the only one with problems.  Others face hardships too.  And it also reveals that you still have something in you that can be blessing to others, when you feel so empty.  Why bother in life?  Because you can make a difference to someone else, I still have something to give.

Thinking back over my week, not only in the Wagons did we actively help others--but in daily things, in little ways.  Watching a friend's children when they had a lot of packing to do for a big move, making a treat and sharing it with our neighbors, and signing up to bring a new mom a meal.  All small acts that made me feel a little better, helped me climb out of that hole one step at a time.  I'm sharing not to toot my own horn, but to share the lessons God is teaching me, ways I am learning to get through something as devastating as losing your child.  Like looking for things to be thankful for, looking for ways to help others is a daily disciple that leads to joy.  And if you do it often enough, it'll just become second nature, and contribute to a general and genuine feeling of joy that money can't buy, and circumstances can't dictate.

The battle with cancer is won by how we live and how we love.  Helping others is a way to do both.

If you haven't found our Warrior Wagons, INC Facebook page, here is the link.  You can "like" and follow our page to see updates on what we're doing!

https://www.facebook.com/WarriorWagonsINC/