Tying up Loose Ends...

There has been a lot of life in these last couple weeks.  I think I need to take some time to share about it, since I talked about them before and never followed up! 

Molly had a wonderful preschool graduation.  It was a hard day, but I did try to get all my sad tears out of the way during the day so I could keep it together for the concert and graduation part.  Molly did so great singing the songs and doing the actions.  A year and a half ago she had to be pulled off stage because she couldn't handle being in front of everyone and lost it.  So to see her now being so confident is wonderful! 

The high school choir joined the preschoolers for a song that was dedicated to Drew.  Luckily I had a heads up about it, and wasn't caught off guard.  It was a beautiful song called "Clouds" by Zach Sobiech, a teen with cancer as well who wrote the song before he finished his job on Earth and went Home too. 

It was a touching tribute, and reminded me just how much our story was a part of this class's year.  Molly's teacher said there were many times a classmate would suggest they include Drew in their daily prayers or suggest him for class drawings.  The high school kids were so caring for Molly this year, it was great to have them involved as well.  It breaks my heart to think of the disappointment, the confusion these little ones and young adults must have felt last year.   Some days I cry just for that--the conversations that had to take place in living rooms and at bedtimes in our community and beyond last year. Where the innocent had to learn about the tragedy in this world.  I cry because of the tragedy in the world in the first place, and also because it had to invade the lives of so many of our little friends at such a young age. Where they probably asked questions, just like Molly did, that we as adults struggle to answer in our own hearts.  I hate that parents had to bring the harsh reality of this world into the consciousness of their kids, just like we had to with Molly.  But, even though I struggle to accept it some days, I know this was part of God's purpose for Drew--to teach hard lessons to all of us.  He couldn't picked a sweeter teacher :)



But before preschool graduation and the flood of emotions that overwhelmed, Josh and I went to a Ball!  We had decided to give a portion of Drew's memorial fund to Make A Wish, the organization that sent us on our wonderful Disney World trip.  Instead of just making an not-very-climactic donation online, we looked into upcoming Wish events and found this Ball.  We decided we'd take the amount we were going to donate and sponsor a table, bid on silent auction items, make a night of it.  We got a group together and that Saturday night, we did just that! 

It was a wonderful event.  The dresses were fun to see, the games and silent auction items were interesting, and the food at dinner was amazing!  The program got me teary, of course, and so did the live auction following.  When I watched people raise their hands to bid on items and packages starting at $5,000 and higher, I thought, there is some family's trip right there.  Some other family's last memories bought for them by some very good and generous people. This is how it should be, those with much blessing those in need.  I hope they know how grateful us Wish families are.  Thank you is not enough for what the trips and wishes do for our moral, at the time, and for years to come.  So I wanted you all to understand that too, because through your donations and contributions to our family following Drew's death, you gave enough to take a family on the trip of a lifetime.  For many, the last trip of their lifetime.  Thank you.




And then, my run!  I completed my 3rd half marathon last weekend at a new personal best time, 2 hours and 10 minutes.  And I felt good most of the time.  Molly and Josh dropped me off at the start and were along the course several times to cheer me on. 

The couple miles around St Mary's were the hardest, but I made it through, and the last few miles actually didn't feel as bad as I thought they would! I finished strong, and thankful that I could accomplish this feat again, and have learned so much along the way.

We received these little dew drop things with Drew's picture on them as a gift.  They are like clear marbles with a flat back?  Anyway, I put one of them in my running belt, and the last mile I pulled it out and held it in my hand.  It was nice to carry Drew with me for my 13 miles, and finish with him in the palm of my hand.  He certainly was a big part of all of my training to get to the finish line, and especially the motivation to finish strong. 

Running the same trails I did so many times while Drew was at St Mary's, I reflected a lot on that time.  I had a bench where I'd get to and the sit and cry.  I never really did cry in the hospital much, but many tears were shed on that bench, looking at the hospital and downtown towers in the distance.  I'd think, how much of my life was in that hospital.  My Drew was there, which was enough, but also how much this was changing me.  How I really was leaving my old life behind with each hospital stay.  I could tell I was becoming a different person through all of our stays in that hospital and trips to the clinic.  I had a couple times when I know God sat with me on that bench, and gave me encouragement and the strength to keep going.  I imagined my self of 6 months ago running beside me through those paths, what would I tell her?  It seems I couldn't be very encouraging given what happened...or could I? I decided I would tell her, it would be okay.  Maybe not in the way you want it, but don't worry right now.  Go back and hug that boy.  Give him a big kiss from me.  And it will be okay.  You can do this.  You are doing it, and we will make it...


The summer is looking to be just as busy as the last few weeks.  I'm excited for the things we have coming up, but also bracing to handle it.  Just as it was with Spring, I can see that as seasons change again there will be another whole set of things to miss Drew through.  To wish he was here to enjoy it with us, to wonder how much he'd have changed since last year, and to be sad that the world is just going on without him.  An all new set of firsts.  Continue to pray for our hearts, and for God to keep carrying us through this exhausting time of many up and downs.